Fake Fake Homemade Apple Cake

Let's be honest: most of the recipes in the Cooking with 4 Ingredients cookbooks aren't super good for you. But every now and then you need a quick hack. For those times, there's this Fake Fake Apple Cake -- not because it's full of fake apples, but because it's fake-homemade! You can fool people into thinking you made it from scratch. Mom did this on several occasions. Muahahaha.

FAKE FAKE "HOMEMADE" APPLE CAKE
1 box spice cake mix*
1 20-oz. can apple pie filling
2 eggs
⅓ cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350° F. In a bowl, combine all ingredients very thoroughly with a spoon, making sure all lumps from the cake mix are broken up. Pour into a greased and floured bundt pan and bake 50 minutes. Check with a toothpick for doneness (if the toothpick comes out clean, it's done).

For extra amazingness, frost with Penuche Frosting.

You can alter the pie filling (cherry, blueberry, raspberry, etc.) to change up this recipe a little. If you do, though, don't frost with penuche.

Contributor: Karin Buck, who stole it from The New Cooking with 4 Ingredients

*Spice cake mix can be hard to find. If so, get a boxed yellow, white, or vanilla cake mix and stir in ½ t. allspice, ¼ t. cinnamon and ⅛ t. nutmeg. Proceed with recipe. You're welcome.

Spoiled Fruit Cake

Yes, you read that right. No, despite its reputation, it's not the fruitcake that's spoiled. (However, Grandpa Roy did refer to it, affectionately, as "rotten cake.") This is an old farm recipe from Curtis' side of the family, meant to use up various fruits that have gone past their prime. You can blend up just about anything recognized as a fruit (uh, except maybe durian) and it'll work. I test-baked it recently, and the three loaves it made disappeared tout de suite. Sweet.

SPOILED FRUIT CAKE
4 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1 t. salt
2 t. cinnamon
½ t. nutmeg
½ t. cloves
1 quart dark fruit, blended
4 t. baking soda
1 cup oil
1 cup nuts
1 cup raisins
1 cup chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour 3 loaf pans. In a large mixing bowl, mix together flour, sugar, salt and spices. Add baking soda to blended fruit (it will probably foam) and immediately pour fruit mixture into flour mixture, stirring well to combine. Add oil, mixing until oil is completely incorporated.

Add nuts, raisins and chocolate chips. (Actually, here's what the original recipe said: "Add any thing you desire: nuts, dates, raisings [sic], choc. chips, dried fruit, candied fruit cake mix, gum drops." So go nuts with the goodies, basically, as long as it all adds up to 3 cups.) Pour into prepared pans, dividing mix evenly between the three pans. Bake 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of a loaf comes out clean.

Makes 3 loaves.

...gum drops?...

Contributor: Betty Lou Myers

Almond Cakes

Mom snagged this from a friend, who in turn snagged it from a 2008 edition of Sunset magazine, who in turn got it from a woman who snagged it from her childhood friend. Sooo we're just gonna call it ours, a'ight?

ALMOND CAKES
1⅔ cups flour
1½ cups sugar
1 cup unsalted butter, melted
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons almond extract
¼ teaspoon salt
cooking oil spray
2½ oz. (about ½ cup) sliced almonds

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, stir together flour, sugar, butter, eggs, almond extract and salt. Spray two 9" pie pans with cooking oil. Divide batter evenly between pans and sprinkle each with half the sliced almonds. Bake until light brown around edges, about 30 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.

Makes 16 servings.

You can further jazz these up by layering them with whipped cream and fresh raspberries, if you really wanna.

Source: EVERYWHERE!

Pumpkin Pie Cake

It's that time of year when nearly every American's fancy turns to thoughts of pumpkin. (Trader Joe's goes a little insane with all the pumpkin-related goodies.) So here's a little something to get into the spirit of all things squashy.

PUMPKIN PIE CAKE
1 package spice cake mix
½ cup melted butter
1 egg
1 large can pumpkin
½ cup brown sugar
2 eggs
⅔ cup evaporated milk
¼ teaspoon cloves
½ teaspoon ginger
2 teaspoons cinnamon, divided
½ teaspoon nutmeg
½ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon sugar
2 tablespoons melted butter

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour a 9x13" pan. Reserve 1 cup of the spice cake mix, setting it aside.

To the rest of the cake mix, add 1/2 cup melted butter and egg and mix together well. Press into the bottom of the prepared pan.

In another bowl, mix together pumpkin, brown sugar, eggs, evaporated milk, cloves, ginger, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. Pour this over the cake mixture in the pan.

Finally, combine the reserved 1 cup of spice cake mix, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, sugar and 2 tablespoons melted butter and stir until mixture becomes crumbly. Sprinkle this crumble over the top of the mixture in the pan. Bake 45 to 50 minutes.

Makes 10 servings.

Contributor: Karin Buck (who doesn't remember where she got this; it was years ago)

Vernetta Slater's Fruit Cake

Ah, fruitcake. People tend either to love it or hate it. This one's heavy on the fruit and light on the cake.

VERNETTA SLATER'S FRUIT CAKE
1 lb. walnuts, coarsely chopped
1 lb. Brazil nuts, coarsely chopped
1 lb. pecans, coarsely chopped
3 cups coconut, shredded
1 box white raisins
1 lb. figs, chopped
1 lb. dates, pitted and chopped
1½ lbs. candied cherries
1½ lbs. candied pineapple
4 cups flour, divided
½ lb. butter
2 cups sugar
6 large eggs
½ teaspoon cinnamon
½ teaspoon cloves
½ teaspoon allspice
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
½ teaspoon lemon zest
1 cup sherry or orange juice
1 2 quart bottle light Karo syrup

Preheat oven to 250 degrees. Line two standard loaf pans with parchment paper and spray with cooking spray.

Set aside ½ lb. each of cherries and pineapple for decorating. Dredge the rest of the fruit in 2 cups flour.

Cream together butter, eggs, sugar and 2 cups flour. Add all spices, baking powder, vanilla, lemon zest and sherry or orange juice. Mix in nuts and dredged fruit.

Divide measure equally between prepared loaf pans. Bake 3½ hours (checking after 2 hours for doneness). About 20 minutes before cakes are done, dip reserved decorating fruit in light Karo syrup and place atop loaves.

After cakes are removed from oven, pour the entire bottle of Karo syrup over them. (Hey, I don't make these recipes, I just write 'em down, OK?) Allow to age in covered containers.

Serves at least 18 people. More if they don't like fruitcake.

Contributor: Kathleen Ashton

Grandma Kest's Chocolate Applesauce Fruit Cake

I know, you may think you don't like fruitcake. But you're WRONG.

We think Grandma Kest came up with this one herself.

GRANDMA KEST'S CHOCOLATE APPLESAUCE FRUIT CAKE
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 tablespoon cocoa
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 can applesauce
¼ teaspoon allspice
¼ teaspoon cloves
¼ teaspoon nutmeg
¼ teaspoon cinnamon
⅛ teaspoon ginger
½ cup shortening
½ cup brown sugar
½ cup white sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 cup raisins
1 cup walnuts, chopped
½ cup maraschino cherries
1 teaspoon maraschino cherry juice
2 tablespoons citron peel, chopped

OK, ready?

In one bowl, blend together flour, cornstarch, cocoa, salt, leavenings and spices. In another bowl, cream together shortening, sugars and egg. To this bowl, add alternately applesauce and flour mixture. Then add raisins, walnuts, cherries and juice, and citron peel and mix well.

Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Grease and flour a tube pan. Turn batter into pan and place in the middle rack of the oven. On the rack below it, place a small pan of water (this will help keep the cake moist as it bakes). Bake for 1½ hours or until a toothpick placed into the center of the cake comes out clean.

You will eat it! And you will like it! If you don't, Grandma's ghost will haunt you! So there.